What an overwhelming aweful day. But atleast it stopped raining

We started our day in Appleton at the Children's clinic to see Dr. Wargowski. He is a geneticist who specializes in Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. I took Kaitlyn there to see where she was on the spectrum and how it would affect her long term. Her primary doctor was convinced that she was somewhere on the spectrum but I held out hope that it was just ADHD. Dr. Wargowski diagnosed her with partial fetal alcohol syndrome. Well there went my hope. He also looked at Zach (my nephew who is being raised by my aunt) and said that his measurements were normal and that we should take the wait and see approach. Then he looked at Aiden. Aiden's facial measurements were with in normal range but Dr. Wargowski noticed that his ears showed the classic signs of FAS. So he wants me to keep a close eye on development. Well that was bad enough but it wasn't the end.
Next we had to take Aiden to his primary doctor because birth to 3 noticed that he wasn't tracking like he should and were worried about the fact that he didn't look at people's faces, and they wanted him to get checked out. So they were concerned that it was either vision problems or sensory related. Well the doc had the same concerns and brought up autism but said that he was too young to be diagnosed. She also referred him out to a pediatric eye specialist to rule out vision problems. In one day I thought that was enough to try to take in and comprehend but that wasn't the last of things to come.
Alex was with his grandma for the day since I had to take the other two to their appointments. She had offered to take him to speech therapy so I wouldn't have to rush. She is great like that and I am thankful to have her in our lives. Well she brought Alex home after therapy with a note from the speech therapist. He is really concerned about Alex's stuttering and has noticed that it got alot worse since last week. I brought it up last week and he said just to calm him down when he starts stuttering and that he is probably just trying to talk too fast. But now this week it is a really big concern because it is getting worse.
Now seriously this is way to much bad news for one day. I am going on like 3 hours of sleep and just can't comprehend all that has happened today.

I know I shouldn't complain but....

Sometimes I just get sick of everything. I get sick of therapy, doctor appointments, specialist, the school system, dealing with behaviors that I know the kids can't help, just plain out sick. I know some parents are dealing with so much more than I am so who am I to complain. My children are healthy, for the most part, they don't have life threatening conditions, they haven't had multiple surgeries, they don't have specialized medical equipment. I should be happy that my children are physically healthy. But sometimes I am sick of having so many appointments crammed into one week that I can't keep them straight. I am sick of running here and there and everywhere. I am sick of worrying about my children and their futures. I am sick of my son's father not helping out but still thinking that he is a good dad because he pays child support. I am sick of doctors, specialists, and therapist (though they all have been super nice and great with the kids), I am just sick of needing them. I am sick of worrying about what condition or disorder that my children will be diagnosed with next. I am sick of having to explain behaviors to family member's and hoping they will understand why my children act the way they do. I am sick of knowing more about my children's conditions than most doctor's do. I am sick of waiting rooms. I am sick of people who just don't understand. I am sick of appoligizing for my children's behaviors when they do something to other people or their kids. I am sick of doing therapy at home. I guess I just need to get it all off my chest. I will never stop anything that I am doing because it all benefits my children but some days, not very often, it just becomes alot.

Now here is the good part. I am thankful that my children are physically fine. I am thankful that my children never had to stay in the hospital. I am thankful that my children have never needed surgery. I am thankful that my children are responding well to therapy. I am thankful that my children's conditions are considered mild. I am thankful that my children don't require medical equipment. I am thankful that there are therapies that benefit my children. I am thankful that there are support groups out there. I am thankful that I have support from my family and friends. I am thankful that I have an awesome roomie who helps me out. I am thankful that because of my children and their disorders/conditions I am a better person. I am thankful that I have so much support from my tribe and other wonderful people who go out of their way to help out. I am thankful that my children are improving each and every day. I am thankful that I found a meetup group so I can talk to others face to face. I am thankful that I know that I am not the only one going through any of this. I am thankful that I am pretty healthy and don't have major health problems of my own to worry about. And most of all, I am thankful for each and every moment I have with my children. They are why I push so hard, and why I am who I am today. They teach me so much everyday and I am thankful that they are here and who they are.